Make Your Happiness List

When speaking at first time homebuyer seminars, I never forget to remind the group that finding a house is one thing, but creating a home is something different altogether.

Everyone knows the feeling of walking into someone's space, and knowing immediately that it's a "home" -- there's an overwhelming warmth that fills you and makes you want to come in and stay a while.

Whether you rent or own - or live in an apartment, condo or mansion, you need to let compassion, kindness, gentleness, love, joy and patience permeate through your walls. Only once you have these qualities does your place truly become a haven where you can be yourself and relax, and so can the treasured friends and family who come to visit.

Everyone has a personal list of things that make you feel at home, whether you've thought about it or not. Yours might be long or short. Here's my Happiness List:

1. "A Good Laugh is Sunshine in The House." Forever an English major, I need to give credit to Mr. William Thackeray (1811-1863) for this one. When I walk in the door and hear someone giggling - an eight year-old telling a knock-knock joke or an adult watching "So I Married an Axe Murder"...laughter feels like home to me.



2. A Big Furry, Huggable Dog. I'm a dog person and to me, no house could truly be a home without Man's Best Friend.



3. A Strong Pot of French Roast Coffee. My friend Joanne gave me a bunch of wonderful British tea, and I love that too, but relaxing with a cup of coffee always makes me feel like I'm home.



4. Clean with Minimal Clutter. I hate clutter. I can't relax when it's around. (I do realize that most people's lists will be the opposite; many people love to be surrounded by "stuff" to feel like they're not sitting in a real estate sales model.) I feel most happy when the floors are clean, there's no dishes in the sink and my closet's organized. My desk and ironing pile will never be de-cluttered, but I do the best I can.



5. Out-of-the-Ordinary Furniture. When you walk in someone's house and it looks like they live in the "Rooms to Go" commercial, it doesn't feel like home to me. My couch makes me think of my friend Clint, who gave it to me when I complimented it, and my giant dining room table makes me think of my friend Ilona, who hand-finished it. She gave me a great deal on it when she sold her house Downtown and moved to a small condo in Miami. Look at how fantastic this thing is...it fits 10 people for a sit down dinner:
   
   




6. Photographs. Again, not a huge amount of photos everywhere, but a few wonderful shots of truly happy times can always stop you from feeling blue. I love photos framed with huge mats and hung on the walls. (And not of just yourself, Andy Warhol-style! If you're in the photo, I hope someone else you love is in it too!) O.K., can you just hear the Nickelback song now?
   
   

   Look at this photograph
   Everytime I do it makes me laugh
   How did our eyes get so red
   And what the hell is on Joey's head



7. A Really Cool Collection. Personally I collect Starbucks mugs from different cities. I have over 100 and it wouldn't feel like home without these giant mugs. Also I collect silver Christmas ornaments which brings me to #8.



8. Seasonal Decorations. Even if it's just a single pumpkin or pot of daffodils, somehow having items up for the holidays makes it feel like home. I guess it's because when I was little my parents always had our house decorated. In graduate school I thought my roommate was crazy when she brought boxes and boxes of holiday decorations, but I think that's one of the reasons people liked to study at our place. It always had that warm and fuzzy feeling.



9. Treasures with Memories. I have plates that I bought on the beach in Brazil and mosiac hurricane candle holders from a party at my friend Yvonne's house. My wine glasses are from my friends Susan, Kristy and Mari and my dishes are from my Aunt. Everything I use on a daily basis reminds me of people I care about.



10. A Cuddly Blanket. I know it's Florida but I'm always freezing and I love having a soft, warm blanket on the couch for watching movies. I have a big white furry one that's a favorite.



11. Candles and Other Yummy Smelling Stuff. I love the outlet plug-ins from Bath and Body Works that smell like cookies, vanilla and nutmeg. It can never feel like a home when it smells like the garbage can - or what I'm cooking which is often fish or egg whites!
    


12. A Fireplace. I don't have one now but just love fireplaces. Even if you fill them with candles or flowers in the summer, a hearth makes a home to me. I find I'm in the minority in Florida, but I think it's because I grew up in a cool climate.



13. A Clean Robe and Slippers. Don't laugh but sometimes I come home and wash my face, and put these on right away, even if it's 5:30 p.m. Why not? I'M HOME!



14. High Thread Count Sheets,Fluffy Pillows and a Down Comforter. Sweet dreams. I like white best because you can bleach them. Make your bed a retreat.



15. White Towels. They make your bathroom look like a spa, and once again, bleach makes them look brand new.



16. Books and Magazines. I always have a bunch of both that I haven't read yet. I'm addicted to ordering books on http://www.ocls.info/ which offers free delivery to Orange County residents with library cards. It's the greatest! I don't know why people pay to buy books you're only going to read once, when you can simply borrow them from the library.



17. A Comfortable Place to Sit Outdoors. Fresh air can work wonders to create happiness. It's so nice to have a clean table and chair with cushions, and a nice view if possible.
    


18. Something Cooking or Baking. A pot of soup simmering on the stove or chocolate chip cookies cooling on the counter truly make it feel like home! My husband laughs because I'll bake a whole batch of cookies or muffins and then send them with him to the office to save the calories. Just the act of baking and yummy smell is therapy for me.
    
    


19. Privacy. I suppose this is one of the more high-maintenance items, but I'm not relaxed feeling like people are staring in the house at me. I like to have a fenced yard and shutters or blinds that close. My Aunt is just the opposite - she feels closed in and prefers yards that run together, so dogs can roam freely and neighbors feel more welcomed.



20. Live Plants - Houseplants and in the Garden. I love white flowers, especially hydrangea. Growing up we had orange, lemon, apricot, olive and cherry trees as well as an herb garden. We also had at least one live houseplant in every room. I feel it brings life to the space. It's hard to keep them alive here in Florida. I've found the plants from Target do the best. Recently I have planted miniature white roses in an Aerogarden in my office, and it makes it a much nicer space to work. Part of it might be that I have something to take care of...every few days I need to add water, plant food and tend to clipping off the dead buds. It makes me feel needed!

I guess I'm easily pleased. These things that thrill and make me happy are pretty accessible. While I don't have all of these in my home today, I now have my list ready of what would make everyplace I live a sanctuary - a refuge that nourishes both the senses and the soul. A wood-burning pizza oven, pool boy and live-in maid would be nice, but it's the simple things that are on my happiness list.

What's on your List?